The “Selfishness” of Staying: The Cultural Forces Behind President Joe Biden’s Insistence He Stay In the Presidential Race

President Joe Biden will stay in the Presidential race, or he won’t, based on what he wants to do. The fact that the decision is coming down to his personal choice feels like a violation, somehow. Those encouraging him to withdraw from the race are using the word, “Selfish.” I agree but also think that the whole culture has set up this current political dilemma, and President Biden is merely playing the role assigned to him.

What right have I to expostulate on the decisions of a President? What dog do I have in this fight? My politics aside, I know a thing or two about working with men who are getting ready to retire after their current job. Over the course of my career in theological higher education, I’ve had five bosses, each of whom was in his last job before retirement. I bore witness to the tough choices they had to make, including and especially the one of whether to stay or go. Each transition included pain and left scars on them and our institutions.

My second qualification is my membership in and sensitivity regarding the the generation of which I’m a part. At 53, I’m GenX. As Baby Boomers have stayed in their jobs longer, it’s my generation that’s been deprived of opportunities. After the Boomers retire, institutions will want professionals in their 30s and 40s, surely, skipping over my peers altogether in favor of Millennials, Gen Y, and Gen Z. When leaders hang onto power, even when they or those around them are conflicted about whether that’s a good idea, it’s my cohort from which they’re withholding the reins.

I’ve been professionally blessed in that I serve in a role I love and feel called to continue in. That sense of stability and sustainability gives me a secure perch from which to observe cultural patterns like the ones I’ll describe below. But if I were looking for a new job? I’m not sure I could manage the resentment I’d feel if I were standing by, waiting, as a person in his 80s wrung his hands about whether to step aside.

Based on my experience as an observer of, and recipient of the authority held by, men of a certain age and professional situation, here are some patterns I have come to recognize:

1. The man who’s nearing retirement is extremely sensitive about his legacy. I say “man” because I don’t think women have been in senior institutional leadership long enough, or in ample enough numbers, to imagine their legacy being anything other than, “First woman to [fill in the blank].” Men who are retiring want to go out on-top. This means they’re likely to hang on through tough times because they don’t want their careers to end “that way.” Therefore, they drag the whole institution through those tough times with them. Then, when things get better, they don’t want to cash out because their stock is too high, and they can’t believe it won’t keep rising.
2. The chapter of life known as retirement is one that’s terribly under-served, disrespected, and misunderstood. Business and leadership scholar Robert Greenleaf wrote that we should spend our whole careers preparing for our retirement. He was talking not about financial matters, but identity ones. If our culture called for treating elder statesmen like valuable sages, and if we listened to their wisdom until their dying days, I doubt so many would feel like they need to stay in physically and mentally overly demanding jobs in order to be of service to the world. Retired persons have precious gifts to offer, but our culture lacks docking systems between those gifts and the professional world’s needs.
3. Spouses play a significant role in men’s decisions regarding retirement. When men are married to women who don’t want them to retire they feel pressure to stay the course. It’s his wife with whom he’ll be spending much more time after retirement, and who wants to spend all day with a person who’s mad at them and thinks they made a bad choice? The wife who doesn’t want her husband to retire doesn’t — can’t? — believe accounts that he’s no longer up to the job. In my experience, the “first lady” figure has an outsized influence on retirement decisions as compared with professional colleagues; junior, peer, or senior. Based on the President’s public statements, I have no question in my mind about what Jill Biden thinks he should do.
4. Our society doesn’t know how to behave in the face of obvious declines in mental acuity. Democratic pundits are asking, “Do you care more about cognition or character?” “Would you rather vote for someone who’s forgetful by accident, or who lies on purpose?” Yeesh, are those really our only two options? Ageism is real, and it’s wrong. Worrying about whether a person’s capacity to do a particular job is not essentially ageist or ableist, but both of those -isms are so harmful that thoughtful people don’t want to even go there. This means our only option in the face of a President whose mind isn’t able to manage the demands of what might be the hardest job in the world is to pretend like nothing’s wrong. President Biden isn’t gaslighting us. We’re gaslighting ourselves.
5. Finally, our society is terrible at saying goodbye. In this respect, I’m not just GenX, I’m Exhibit A. The colleague with whom I work most closely, Ned Parker, is leaving his position at my right hand in a couple of days. He thinks I’m avoiding him, but really, I’m avoiding myself. Transition is hard, and when a person’s job is core to their identity, saying goodbye to the job is like losing a loved one.

Succession is important to the story of the Christian faith. Moses handed the reins to Aaron. David succeeded Saul. Elijah passed the mantle to Elisha. From one perspective, we can say that Jesus passed the torch to Peter to found the church, but that’s not my point of view. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to the disciples and told them to share it with everyone. In doing so, Jesus argued against hoarding power and in favor of spreading it around based on gifts, abilities, and the community’s needs.

I’m trying hard not to be mad at President Biden for staying in the Presidential race. The way our culture frames leadership — this dastardly combination of hyper-individualism and disrespect for elders — isn’t his fault. The fact that the decision is up to him isn’t his fault either. His relative autonomy at this point in the campaign results from the Lone Ranger definition of the Presidency that takes its cues from capitalism’s values: acquisition, ownership, control.

I’ve read that President Biden’s inner circle of advisors includes some who are counseling him to bow out. I’ve been a member of inner circles like those a couple of times, and I have a message for them: “Save your breath.” Our energy will be better spent growing in our own leadership and working toward a society where power is shared broadly, as a matter of principle and as a conscious choice.

I for one am avoiding Presidential race doom-scrolling in favor of making my bucket list. I’m trying to imprint on my mind how healthy it is for leaders to cycle in and out, with the hopes that I’ll be able to recognize when my own time to retire has come.